Sunday, July 18, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Finally getting a word in...
It's no lie that there is no such thing as "scheduled times" once you have a child. I've been trying to type a new blog entry for over a week now, but, I'd been stuck on only two words in the saved draft since last Friday!
As I type this, Amy & Wyatt are still asleep downstairs. Things have semi-leveled out for us, and, as every day progresses, we learn new things about him, as well as ourselves. Recently, he'd been having some serious breakdowns in which he just cries and cries. Part of becoming a parent is the newly acquired patience you learn when dealing with a small human being that has absolutely no idea what is happening to them, nor can they tell you what they're feeling. Amy was home with him one day while I was at work, and, experienced such a break down. Rather than bouncing him, dancing around the house, or shoving a boob in his face, she simply just held him & soothed him, all the while whispering softly that she loved him and that he as such a special little boy.
In a matter of 3-4 minutes, he completely stopped crying and actually fell asleep. She did this a few times during the day, and, invariably, the same results were achieved. Of course, we googled and researched, and, it turns out that sometimes babies do just need to cry it out. It's called a "reboot" period. Essentially, the baby has reached their capacity of taking in stuff with their immature nervous systems, and, simply are like "OK...I'm done with this information...whatever it is, but, I have nowhere to put it because my brain is full! Woah! WAHH!!! etc".
My biggest challenge I face is the ability to just remain calm, and, combine my feelings of sympathy & patience. If I lean too far in one direction (i.e. too much sympathy), I get anxious that I'm unable to meet his needs, and, that I'm just not "doing it right" as a father. If I go too far in the other direction, I also feel like I'm not sympathetic enough to his little circuits being fried, and, want to pass him off to Amy to try to eat. Often times, I sit and watch Amy console him during these times of uneasiness, and, her delicate touch is so enviable. I'm definitely getting better at it because when I held him last night during a meltdown, I'd sometimes feel the scales tipping in either direction. I'd continue to tell myself that it's OK to be balanced, and, that if I add more to one side of the scale, I need to reciprocate and add more to the other. More sympathy = more patience.
Obviously I'd never remove anything from either side, but, being able to pile it on all the while remaining calm and confident that my son can soothe himself with the small little push I am giving him is enough to make me feel like I am doing it right. The worst I could do is love him more.
As I type this, Amy & Wyatt are still asleep downstairs. Things have semi-leveled out for us, and, as every day progresses, we learn new things about him, as well as ourselves. Recently, he'd been having some serious breakdowns in which he just cries and cries. Part of becoming a parent is the newly acquired patience you learn when dealing with a small human being that has absolutely no idea what is happening to them, nor can they tell you what they're feeling. Amy was home with him one day while I was at work, and, experienced such a break down. Rather than bouncing him, dancing around the house, or shoving a boob in his face, she simply just held him & soothed him, all the while whispering softly that she loved him and that he as such a special little boy.
In a matter of 3-4 minutes, he completely stopped crying and actually fell asleep. She did this a few times during the day, and, invariably, the same results were achieved. Of course, we googled and researched, and, it turns out that sometimes babies do just need to cry it out. It's called a "reboot" period. Essentially, the baby has reached their capacity of taking in stuff with their immature nervous systems, and, simply are like "OK...I'm done with this information...whatever it is, but, I have nowhere to put it because my brain is full! Woah! WAHH!!! etc".
My biggest challenge I face is the ability to just remain calm, and, combine my feelings of sympathy & patience. If I lean too far in one direction (i.e. too much sympathy), I get anxious that I'm unable to meet his needs, and, that I'm just not "doing it right" as a father. If I go too far in the other direction, I also feel like I'm not sympathetic enough to his little circuits being fried, and, want to pass him off to Amy to try to eat. Often times, I sit and watch Amy console him during these times of uneasiness, and, her delicate touch is so enviable. I'm definitely getting better at it because when I held him last night during a meltdown, I'd sometimes feel the scales tipping in either direction. I'd continue to tell myself that it's OK to be balanced, and, that if I add more to one side of the scale, I need to reciprocate and add more to the other. More sympathy = more patience.
Obviously I'd never remove anything from either side, but, being able to pile it on all the while remaining calm and confident that my son can soothe himself with the small little push I am giving him is enough to make me feel like I am doing it right. The worst I could do is love him more.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
All Quiet on the Western Front
As I sit here typing this, my precious little bundle is asleep soundly, and, Amy has just walked out the door for a nice mom-only hour walk(if the rain holds out!).
As the photo in the previous post shows, we were so lucky to have Amy's folks out here for a visit for a little over a week. Her mom Elaine arrived on Tuesday, and, her dad Richard (aka Dick) showed up that Friday. While the time was short, it was so chock full of wonderful bonding time that it seemed to last a lot longer than it did. This week has had its share of rollercoaster ride-type experiences...from Wyatt's extra painful gas/system development outbursts, to the wonderful bonding time I witnessed with both grandparents on the momma's side with my own little boy.
When Elaine first got here, Wyatt could have possibly sensed that her voice was different than mom & dad's, so, that when she picked him up for the first time, he kind of seemed a little out of sorts. However, all the hours she spent with him on her shoulder, in her lap, and laying in her arms quickly set him at ease with falling asleep on her. The same thing happened when Dick arrived. We placed Wyatt in his lap, and, when Dick started to speak, Wyatt kind of looked away and started to kick. However, when Amy spoke, he stopped kicking, and, turned his head in her direction. She stayed by her dad's side while Wyatt settled in, and, eventually, melted the entire rooms heart as he fell asleep in Dick's arms.
We spent many hours together in this house, and, if it's one thing you learn about your relationship with your inlaws, as well as your inlaws in general, it's how long you can tolerate each other in such a small place for such an extended period of time. We had such wonderful memorable times together over the last week (at least that's what I felt ;-)) that I'm even more at ease than ever. There is this sense of needing approval from your inlaws that comes along with being happily married, and, although I'm pretty sure I earned my stripes during that very first visit (withOUT Amy...another story), this was a different scenario. Dick & Elaine were extremely supportive and caring, reaching out when they felt they needed to and backing off when they felt appropriate. We laughed all week, and, continuously poked fun at each other while reminiscing over stories of when Amy was a baby. Our bellies were sore after the first 24 hours! From the wonderful dinners, to the calm quite breakfasts, all the way through to the delicious desserts Elaine whipped up, (Side note...she made this butterscotch sorta pound cake thingy that was out of this world. It lasted 36 hours.) we simply had a great time. We're currently planning the next visit to Colorado, as well as a trip back east to the Tarheel state to see the cousins! We're all so very excited.
Taking them to the airport today was tough. I really did not want them to leave, nor, the good times to come to an end (albeit for now). However, if it's one thing they left me with personally, it's a bulletproof sense of confidence and the desire to be a focused parent. I find that the more I do this, the more I appreciate my family and my parents experiences in raising me. I feel they did a pretty stellar job. I can only hope to follow!
As the photo in the previous post shows, we were so lucky to have Amy's folks out here for a visit for a little over a week. Her mom Elaine arrived on Tuesday, and, her dad Richard (aka Dick) showed up that Friday. While the time was short, it was so chock full of wonderful bonding time that it seemed to last a lot longer than it did. This week has had its share of rollercoaster ride-type experiences...from Wyatt's extra painful gas/system development outbursts, to the wonderful bonding time I witnessed with both grandparents on the momma's side with my own little boy.
When Elaine first got here, Wyatt could have possibly sensed that her voice was different than mom & dad's, so, that when she picked him up for the first time, he kind of seemed a little out of sorts. However, all the hours she spent with him on her shoulder, in her lap, and laying in her arms quickly set him at ease with falling asleep on her. The same thing happened when Dick arrived. We placed Wyatt in his lap, and, when Dick started to speak, Wyatt kind of looked away and started to kick. However, when Amy spoke, he stopped kicking, and, turned his head in her direction. She stayed by her dad's side while Wyatt settled in, and, eventually, melted the entire rooms heart as he fell asleep in Dick's arms.
We spent many hours together in this house, and, if it's one thing you learn about your relationship with your inlaws, as well as your inlaws in general, it's how long you can tolerate each other in such a small place for such an extended period of time. We had such wonderful memorable times together over the last week (at least that's what I felt ;-)) that I'm even more at ease than ever. There is this sense of needing approval from your inlaws that comes along with being happily married, and, although I'm pretty sure I earned my stripes during that very first visit (withOUT Amy...another story), this was a different scenario. Dick & Elaine were extremely supportive and caring, reaching out when they felt they needed to and backing off when they felt appropriate. We laughed all week, and, continuously poked fun at each other while reminiscing over stories of when Amy was a baby. Our bellies were sore after the first 24 hours! From the wonderful dinners, to the calm quite breakfasts, all the way through to the delicious desserts Elaine whipped up, (Side note...she made this butterscotch sorta pound cake thingy that was out of this world. It lasted 36 hours.) we simply had a great time. We're currently planning the next visit to Colorado, as well as a trip back east to the Tarheel state to see the cousins! We're all so very excited.
Taking them to the airport today was tough. I really did not want them to leave, nor, the good times to come to an end (albeit for now). However, if it's one thing they left me with personally, it's a bulletproof sense of confidence and the desire to be a focused parent. I find that the more I do this, the more I appreciate my family and my parents experiences in raising me. I feel they did a pretty stellar job. I can only hope to follow!
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