It's no lie that there is no such thing as "scheduled times" once you have a child. I've been trying to type a new blog entry for over a week now, but, I'd been stuck on only two words in the saved draft since last Friday!
As I type this, Amy & Wyatt are still asleep downstairs. Things have semi-leveled out for us, and, as every day progresses, we learn new things about him, as well as ourselves. Recently, he'd been having some serious breakdowns in which he just cries and cries. Part of becoming a parent is the newly acquired patience you learn when dealing with a small human being that has absolutely no idea what is happening to them, nor can they tell you what they're feeling. Amy was home with him one day while I was at work, and, experienced such a break down. Rather than bouncing him, dancing around the house, or shoving a boob in his face, she simply just held him & soothed him, all the while whispering softly that she loved him and that he as such a special little boy.
In a matter of 3-4 minutes, he completely stopped crying and actually fell asleep. She did this a few times during the day, and, invariably, the same results were achieved. Of course, we googled and researched, and, it turns out that sometimes babies do just need to cry it out. It's called a "reboot" period. Essentially, the baby has reached their capacity of taking in stuff with their immature nervous systems, and, simply are like "OK...I'm done with this information...whatever it is, but, I have nowhere to put it because my brain is full! Woah! WAHH!!! etc".
My biggest challenge I face is the ability to just remain calm, and, combine my feelings of sympathy & patience. If I lean too far in one direction (i.e. too much sympathy), I get anxious that I'm unable to meet his needs, and, that I'm just not "doing it right" as a father. If I go too far in the other direction, I also feel like I'm not sympathetic enough to his little circuits being fried, and, want to pass him off to Amy to try to eat. Often times, I sit and watch Amy console him during these times of uneasiness, and, her delicate touch is so enviable. I'm definitely getting better at it because when I held him last night during a meltdown, I'd sometimes feel the scales tipping in either direction. I'd continue to tell myself that it's OK to be balanced, and, that if I add more to one side of the scale, I need to reciprocate and add more to the other. More sympathy = more patience.
Obviously I'd never remove anything from either side, but, being able to pile it on all the while remaining calm and confident that my son can soothe himself with the small little push I am giving him is enough to make me feel like I am doing it right. The worst I could do is love him more.
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