Last night, when I put Wyatt down to bed, it felt different. There was this sense of overwhelming joy, but, a slight tinge of sadness. The sadness was attributed to the fact that I was returning to the office today (6/29), and, that I wouldn't be there when my wife and child wake up together, nor, would I have that little limp sleepy body laying on my bare chest while I attempted to watch the World Cup on mute, eventually shutting it off and staring at the top of his little head for the next 3 hours.
This morning, I slowly gathered my stuff for work, trying to prolong the inevitable of walking out the door, and, driving down the early-morning crowded freeway to work. As I walked in and out of the front door three times, once to load the bike on the roof, once to put my lunch & workout bags, and, once to put my laptop, I was able to catch a glimpse of squirming around in the bedroom as I crept past the doorway. Knowing that little legs were stirring, and, Amy's feet shuffling in her sheets, I was about to get a quick look at them waking up for a feeding before heading out. I killed a bit more time bringing the recycle bin back to the house, and, taking out the garbage. I went upstairs to the newly minted guest bedroom to do some final tidying, loaded a few songs onto my ipod (purposely plugging it into the slower USB port on the computer), and, looked around only to realize that I'd sewn up the few loose ends I was grabbing at.
It was now time to go.
I headed downstairs to the bedroom and saw Amy propped up against the wall, boppie on lap, baby at breast on boppie, and, the weight of the sleepless nights on her eyelids. I gently lay down on the bed so as not to disturb Wyatt's feeding, and stared up at the one sight I still can't get enough of...and that's his little feet on the boppie pillow and Amy's body from the side. The site of seeing the two of them interlocked in the feeding ritual is an image that transcends all others. Amy was somewhat lucid, and, requested a glass of OJ. Success! I didn't have to quite leave yet. Now...which kind of glass should I use? Juice glass? Coffee mug? Surely this decision was one of the most important I was going to make for the day, so, it was imperative that I spend time with it and make the choice wisely. After 5 extra minutes of deliberation, and, acting out the drinking process with each available drinking vessel, I decided on a small coffee mug. I delivered the OJ, and, Amy looked at me as if to say "I'm going to be fine...just go."
So as I sit here at my desk for the first time in almost 12 days typing this, my eyes fill up a bit, my cheeks get heavy and I get sad. However, I know that in less than 6 hours, I will be home with them planting kisses all over their bodies. While it's still 6 hours from now, the countdown has begun! Even more exciting is that Nana Weller is arriving today to lend hand for the next week. I can't WAIT to see her reaction to the little man.
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